Warning, this article contains spoilers
Game of Thrones has an amazingly diverse array of characters and personalities, many of whom are despised and/or adored by fans. We get to see many of them fight it out as well, such as the incredible fight between Oberyn Martell and The Mountain or Jon Snow and Ramsay Bolton in the Battle of the Bastards. Let’s be honest, we all love a bit of fantasy violence and I, for one, often wonder who would win between certain individuals that never have a TV show or book fight. So I picked a nice Game of Thronsey number (seven for the Faith of the Seven and the Seven Kingdoms) of fantasy brawls and set about deciding who would win. LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
Oberyn “The Red Viper” Martell vs Ser Jaime “The Kingslayer” Lannister
This, I think, is the fight that everyone wants to see. Obviously post losing his hand, Oberyn would annihilate Jaime. But back in his prime, Jaime was regarded as one of the finest swordsman in Westeros with an incredibly distinguished history. On the other hand, Oberyn would have comfortably won against The Mountain if he were not after his confession and Tyrion himself “knew the man only by reputation … but the reputation was fearsome”.
So who wins? The Red Viper wouldn’t mess around like he did against The Mountain, he’d know he would get little chance against Jaime and Oberyn would not be able to goad Jaime into brash, impulsive anger like he did with The Mountain. I’m going to give this one to Jaime because of his reputation as the finest sword in Westeros. I think Oberyn would only win if Jaime underestimated him, which I doubt he would be considering his reputation and use of deadly poisons.
Prince Joffrey “I AM THE KING!” Baratheon vs Ramsay “Bastard of Bolton” Snow
Who wouldn’t have liked to see these two little shits beat each other up? In a fight like this, you wouldn’t root for either of them, just that the fight lasted as long and as painfully as possible, right? Two of the most despised characters ever created, portrayed fantastically in the show. I think the winner of this one is fairly obvious.
Ramsay would beat and flay Joffrey fairly comfortably because Joffrey is a coward and Ramsay is fearless. Sure the Prince has had training from some of the finest knights and Ramsey was only trained by a smelly man-at-arms (the original Reek) but Ramsey’s father Roose said: “Ramsay is ferocious, I will grant you, but he swings that sword like a butcher hacking meat”. He fears nothing, so do you see Joffrey standing his ground properly once Ramsey starts hacking away at him with that mad glint in his eyes? I don’t think so.
Daario “Captain of the Stormcrows” Naharis vs Bronn “there’s no cure for being a …” The Sellsword
This fight is insanely hard to judge in my opinion. I’d say there was very little in either the books or the show that you can use to compare to two. Both James and Shaun of H.M.S FinalBoss think Daario would win and after some further research, I am inclined to agree with them. Bronn fights a trial by combat for Tyrion but against an older fighter encumbered by his armour and excessively heavy ceremonial sword. But in season 7, he basically loses to a random Dothraki.
There is a divide between the show and the books with Daario, many of the feats and the history of the book character “Strong Belwas” are given to him. So in the show, he was such a good pit fighter that he won his freedom and killed the champion of Meereen very comfortably, both of these being Strong Belwas feats. However, there isn’t much solid evidence in the books to suggest he is an amazing fighter other than working his way up to being a high ranking Stormcrow. There is a lack of real evidence for Bronn though as well, so on balance between the show and books, I think Daario would win.
Bronn “I’ll impregnate the…” The Sellsword vs Sandor “The Hound” Clegane
In Season 2: Episode 9, just before we have the season climax of the Battle of the Blackwater, we are treated to a testy little conversation between the Hound and Bronn, where they exchange hard words and Bronn puts a menacing hand on his knife. This begs the question on who would win in a one on one between the two. The answer is fairly obvious in a contest of champions or battle sword fight, it would easily be Sandor. He is enormously strong and more than a match for nearly any fighter in Westeros. Only the best would be chosen as the Crown Prince’s protector, after all.
But there are some scenarios that I think Bronn could win in. For example, we see from the show that he is a halfway decent shot with a bow. So if there was distance between the two, I think Bronn could at least handicap The Hound enough to beat him, even if he is in full armour. And if it was an ambush-style street fight where Bronn surprised The Hound, I think he would be quick enough to dispatch him for sure.
Ser Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane vs King Robert “boar-ing death” Baratheon
This might be a slightly odd fantasy fight that I have chosen but it makes sense, just hear me out. Both are rash, quick to anger, aggressive, supremely strong and tall. Both rely more on brute force more than anything to win fights. I think they really are similar and that it would be a close fight if Robert were in his prime.
The consensus between the FinalBoss guys that I have talked to seems to be that The Mountain would own Robert, but I disagree. Captain James makes a strong point about The Mountain having the height and the weight over Robert. In the books, Gregor is almost eight feet tall and over 30 stone. Robert is tall though, being about six and a half feet, so the difference could well be much bigger.
But the boys are right, I think it would be a close, brutal fight but Ser Gregor would win. In a straight fight of power and strength, the winner must be the most powerful and the strongest, which is The Mountain. He is strong enough to wield a six-foot, two-handed greatsword in one hand after all.
Ser Barristan “The Bold” Selmy vs Ser Arthur “The Sword of the Morning” Dayne
Two of the finest swordsmen of the age, both of which Jaime Lannister fangirls over, were absolute beasts in their prime. In the show, we kind of get a watered-down Barristan but in the books, he has a reputation as someone who could still beat most swordsmen, even in his twilight years.
We don’t get much of Arthur in the show, we only see him in a Bran flashback. In this he fights with two swords and is very impressive, dispatching the majority of Ned’s band of companions before getting stabbed in the back by Howland Reed. In the books, he wields a famous sword named “Dawn”, which was forged from the heart of a falling star and only gifted to a knight of House Dayne that is worthy of it. It is as strong and as sharp as Valyrian steel and regarded as one of the best swords in Westeros.
Well, who would win? We don’t need to think about the answer to this too much, as George R. R. Martin wades into the argument himself. He believes that if Ser Arthur Dayne wielded Dawn, he would win. But if the two fighters were armed with equivalent weaponry, it could be a toss-up.
Varys “The Spider” of Lys vs Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish
I’m not talking about who would win in Game of Thrones or who would outmanoeuvre who here, I’m talking about a straight-up fight between these two, swords or no. Arguably two of the most important players of the Game of Thrones, these two have bandied words long enough, let us see some physical violence from the two! It would be an awkward, untalented fight for sure but there is one clear winner.
Littlefinger would win in a fight against Varys. We see no evidence anywhere that Varys has ever had to fight in his life. His thing is kind of just becoming powerful with secrets rather than force. However, we know that Littlefinger can fight, at least when he was younger. When he was a boy, he was fostered in Riverrun, where he would have been trained, like all young male lords in Westeros, in combat. He even fought a duel against Brandon Stark when he was betrothed to Catelyn Tully (later Catelyn Stark), whom Petyr loved. He was owned in that duel, but at least it shows that he has had at least some martial experience, even if he is well out of practice now.
Summary
It is always fun to imagine these fights, with so many characters in Game of Thrones more than willing to don armour and start hacking away with their weapon of choice. Who would you like to see duke it out in a fight? Do you disagree with the outcome of any of the fights I have picked? Who knows, with a host of planned Game of Thrones spinoffs and at least two books in the main series still to come, maybe we could see some of these fights for real…
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