I didn’t expect the next Postal — it’s a Vampire Survivors‑style FPS

Why this announcement actually matters

Running With Scissors quietly caught my attention by announcing Postal Bullet Paradise – a weird, loud mashup that takes the Postal franchise into “bullet heaven” territory. If the concept lands, it could be one of the more surprising and successful spinoffs to come out of a franchise that’s historically been more about attitude than design polish. If it doesn’t, it’ll probably be obnoxious and chaotic in all the wrong ways. Either outcome is worth watching.

• 11 playable versions of Postal Dude act like classes; you dual‑wield a different gun in each hand.
• Auto‑shooting, Vampire Survivors‑style progression meets first‑person chaos and roguelike picks.
• Up to four‑player co‑op and a planned Steam release in July-September next year.
• Main questions: Will the humor land? Can the combat and progression feel meaningful in an FPS camera?

Breaking down the announcement

The pitch is simple: take the endless horde and upgrade loop that made Vampire Survivors and its many imitators addictive, shove it into an FPS camera, and dress the whole thing in Postal’s trademark grubby, offensive coat. You pick one of 11 Dudes – essentially a class system built around different timelines of our unhinged protagonist – and run through waves while the game auto‑fires. As you hit milestones, you choose one of three upgrades, weapons or abilities, building a loadout as you go. That includes the kind of puerile novelty Postal players expect; the reveal even name‑checks a “Urinating” ability, because of course it does.

Dual‑wielding opens room for interesting combinations: a shotgun in one hand, a chainsaw‑gun hybrid in the other. The co‑op for up to four players turns the typical solo bullet‑heaven experience into a messy party, whether that’s a good thing depends on how the developers balance chaos and clarity.

Why this matters now

Bullet‑heaven titles exploded after Vampire Survivors proved a single loop could carry a whole game. Most of those remain 2D, top‑down affairs. A handful, like Megabonk, have moved into 3D and different camera styles — Postal Bullet Paradise is notable because it takes a franchise known for first‑person stink and mixes it with a genre built around omniscient, top‑down clarity. That’s a risky translation: the game’s success will depend on UI, enemy telegraphing, and whether players can actually read the chaos in an FPS view.

What gamers should expect (and be wary of)

On the positive side, Postal already has a small but hardcore fanbase who enjoyed Postal Brain Damage — a spinoff that did very well on Steam and proved the series can spawn quality riffs. If Running With Scissors combines visceral guns, satisfying synergies, and tight progression pacing, this could be another breakout spinoff that appeals to both Postal fans and the broader bullet‑hell crowd.

On the other hand, there are real design traps. Auto‑shooting in a first‑person view risks feeling passive unless upgrades and weapon interactions are impactful. Managing sightlines and readability when dozens of enemies pour in is harder in 3D; cheap deaths or “I couldn’t see what happened” moments will kill replayability fast. And then there’s the humor: Postal’s brand of shock comedy alienates many players — if Bullet Paradise leans too hard on tired shock gags rather than clever design, it’ll be niche, not notable.

Also worth flagging: the game is announced for Steam in July-September next year, with no console info. That narrows the initial audience compared to cross‑platform releases and puts pressure on PC performance tuning and Steam first impressions.

Looking ahead

Postal Bullet Paradise is an experiment at the intersection of two trends: franchise spinoffs done right (Brain Damage being the poster child) and the relentless march of bullet‑heaven mechanics into new camera styles. If the devs nail pacing, weapon variety, and UI clarity, this could be a surprisingly deep roguelike FPS with party chaos to spare. If they don’t, it’ll be loud, ugly, and forgettable — though probably still meme‑worthy.

TL;DR

Running With Scissors’ Postal Bullet Paradise is an intriguing mashup: Vampire Survivors‑style auto‑shooting and roguelike progression in a first‑person Postal shell, with four‑player co‑op and dual‑wielding. It could be a brilliant spinoff if the combat and UI survive the translation to 3D — otherwise, expect chaos and controversy. Keep an eye on beta builds and early impressions when it hits Steam next summer.