Jon from Jon Breaks Bad News is an American man in his late 20s who is tasked with breaking bad news to unsuspecting people. His Facebook page currently has over 60 thousand followers, all watching eagerly as he breaks the news with a dishevelled beard and the bluntest of approaches. Via email, we talked about his process as he helped me get over my break up.
FinalBoss: Hey, bud. What are you doing right this second?
Jon Breaks Bad News: Just having some beers breaking some bad news.
FB: How old are you?
JBBN: I am 29.
FB: What’s your service?
JBBN: I break bad news for people that don’t have the stomach to do it themselves.
FB: Why did you start doing this?
JBBN: I started doing this mostly because I thought it would be funny. I had run into situations with friends where I got to be the one to tell people some bad news, like, we had run out of beer, or tell a neighbour their dog got out of the yard and was missing. My friends would tell me I always looked so happy after – so I figured, hey why not try to do this for the general public?
FB: Does this line of work not affect you at all? Surely it can get pretty rough sometimes, right?
JBBN: Not really. I mean if I had to receive some of the bad news I’m sure that would be rough, but hell, it’s not happening to me.
FB: I heard you’re very against good news. Is that correct?
JBBN: I’m not against good news. Good news is great, everyone loves to get good news, its even better to give good news sometimes… which is why I have no interest in delivering it. When you deliver to someone you care about; like maybe you accidentally left their baby in your hot car in the middle of August and now it’s got brain damage, you’re supposed to feel sick. Its not supposed to be easy… and my service makes it easier for people. Nobody needs me to deliver good news.
FB: You used to bartend. My favourite question when I find this out about someone is “What did you hate most about it?”
JBBN: I loved every second of it. But if I had to pick my least favourite part, it would be closing, I guess – but even that I managed to make fun.
In your case I would definitely dwell a lot on the break up, maybe not show up to work for a few weeks or return any calls to anyone
FB: I recently went through a break-up and it fucking sucked. I know you’re usually the guy who delivers, but any advice on how to handle this?
JBBN: Actually I just launched a branch of my business specifically to cater to those who have recently received bad news and need advice on how to deal with it. In your case, I would definitely dwell a lot on the break up, maybe not show up to work for a few weeks or return any calls to anyone, then you should definitely start stalking. Get a big boom box, hold it over your head outside her window “say anything” style, but play “put in your mouth” by Akinyele at 3:42am.
FB: Do you ever fear that someone will eventually call you and break you some bad news?
JBBN: No, I’m ready.
FB: What’s the worst news that you’ve ever received, personally?
JBBN: My favourite tap at my favourite bar is dry and its two-fers Tuesdays.
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Jon Holmes is a writer based in the UK. Alongside his work writing for film, he is a multi-accoladed filmmaker in his own right, and also performs. He can be followed on Youtube at Hans HS and on Twitter on @jonnyjonjon1