Jurassic Park Survival Guide: BossCast Episode #6

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Its episode 6 of BossCast and the boys are in trouble again. Just a few short weeks after seeing off the fell-beasts, orcs and evil wizards of Middle-earth the team find themselves in Jurassic Park. How will they survive the dinosaur-packed island?

Here’s the transcript, if you prefer to to have a visual jaunt through our journey instead of an audio one. But you should really check out the podcast, it’s rather good.

Ryan: So it’s that time again, it’s time for another podcast. I’m Ryan.

James: I’m James.

Shaun: And I’m Shaun.

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Ryan: And if you guys caught us for Episode Four, we did a how to survive in Middle Earth and continuing in that fashion we’re gonna do another episode on how to survive, but in Jurassic Park, specifically, the first Jurassic Park, so that’s the first movie. This is the premise, we are on Isla Nublar, are touring with the tour group you know, that’s visiting the island,  the scientists and three dudes from a website. Yeah, three dudes from a website and the grandchildren. So we are in the infamous third car. The one you didn’t see but are about to know about. So strap yourself in. You’re in for a bumpy new ride. And we’re gonna start off with dinobait James taking us away.

James: Right. Okay, so I, I guess the idea here is this is all going to start, this is all going to kick off when? Okay, I’m not gonna remember like I said, I’m gonna be terrible with names, who is the guy who screws them all over and tries to run away?

Shaun: Dennis Nedry

James: Dennis Nedry, that’s the IT guy. So I’m just going to assume we’re kicking this off when he takes everything offline. And we’re all sat outside the T rex enclosure. As you remember we were and it’s raining and everything goes to shit right and it got dark very quickly

Ryan: So yeah when, when everything goes bad then basically

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James: So that’s when we’re kicking off so I guess the first thing is we’re there and the T- Rex is coming out of the car so how are we going to survive the initial T-Rex attack because that is obviously, that’s obviously one of the biggest perils of the entire experience right?

Ryan: Well I don’t think we can fairly start with a T-Rex attacking us, that’s not fair. I think outside the enclosure but you know how it kind of builds? Where’s the goat and all that kind of stuff. So we’re in there, looking around, what’s going on, and we’re in the third car so we are the furthest, we’re in the third car of the three, we’re at the back.

James: Are we wising up to this because the thing about in this film is they get taken by surprise by this T-Rex, right? They’re not really ready for it. It just appears. Like in our third car, are we maybe a little bit more aware that things are going wrong that the T-Rex has eaten the goat.

Shaun: I don’t think so. Because like, the middle car doesn’t seem to know.

Ryan: Yeah, we’re at the back. So you know in the film, the focus is on the T-Rex kind of finding the first car, isn’t it? So with the kids in it, yeah. So surely we have the bird’s eye view and we can just sit back and let it all unfold.

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Shaun: Because it takes Grant and Malcolm ages to react and do anything

James: It does but they’re not really looking out, they’re just kind of sat there chillin’ in the car not really paying much attention,

Ryan: But to be fair, that’s exactly what we’re doing.

James: Is that what we do though?

Shaun: Where are we sitting? I think I should be in the front and you two should be in the back squabbling.

James: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Ryan: I don’t think I’ll be able to see over the seat

James: So if, are we paying attention to like the enclosure? I feel like, I feel like I will be looking at the enclosure right. I feel like I’ll be looking out for that T-Rex cos I’m not a cool, I’m not a cool like, okay. What are their names again?

Ryan: Well hang on, hang on, let, let, let, let’s, let’s take it back a step. So if you’re looking at the enclosure, okay fair enough, but there’s one goat right and there’s a three train of cars, now are we even going to be able to see the goat to begin with it because that goat kind of feels like it’s supposed to be in the middle while lots of cars are kind of crowded around it, we might not even see that it’s missing.

James: We’re really getting bogged down in this whole goat thing.

Ryan: I mean, it’s all about the goat.

James: All about the goat. So I think we should really, I think we’re really kicking off, everything kicks off when the T-Rex escapes. That’s basically where it all starts. Right? So how are we reacting to that because obviously, we have the reaction of the, the kids to think about, because that’s a really great opportunity, because they’re using their flashlight and they’re getting attention of this T-Rex, the T-Rex does not care about us, right? Is this our opportunity to escape right now? Are we just out straight away?

Ryan: Well with our knowledge of Isla Nublar, we know, we already know there’s a storm. So we were on our way back. There’s only two ways off this island. One, is the east dock, two is the helipad. Now because Dennis is already, he’s already on his way to the dock at this point. And let’s not forget that we have the insider knowledge that the captain radioed him from the dock and said he had 15 minutes from when he set off, which was about five minutes before everything kind of went to pot. So I don’t think we’re going to make that East dock before the boat leaves.

James: Oh, we’re definitely not but us in the car, we don’t know that, right? So we’re not thinking about we’ve got 15 minutes to go. We’ve got, we’re sat there in a car and there’s a T-Rex attacking some kids in front of us like what? How do we get out of this situation? Like would you, would we get out of the car? Would we just run? Is that? Is that what you think we do?

Ryan: Are the car battery’s dead?

James: No, you have no control over these right? Us three. I think you can still use the cars if you could start them, but we can’t start them right. Do they even have? Do they have steering wheels?

Shaun: No, I don’t think they do.

James: So they’re completely remote controlled. So there’s absolutely no way that we can take control of this car because you might be able to hotwire it and then get the engine going, but we wouldn’t know how to do that. I’m assuming you guys have never hotwired a car before?

Ryan: Well, I didn’t want to say anything.

James: Okay, well, Ryan’s gonna hotwire the car

Ryan: To what? To go forwards or backwards?

Shaun: We should definitely do what the kids were doing though, rummage around for the night vision goggles and the torch

Ryan: Yeah, for sure.

James: Exactly. But see the thing is, that is great survival instinct but right in the moment, with this, because I was thinking about this, if there’s a T Rex, in front of you, are you, are we going to think about that genuinely? Are we going to think oh, let’s get the night-vision goggles. Oh, let’s pick up all the water. There’s some snacks here let’s get that or are we just going to peg it?

Ryan: I’d like to, yeah grab, we need to grab the map so by those night vision goggles is the infamous map that you didn’t get to see on camera but it was there.

James: It was there, it was definitely there

Ryan: So what you’ve got to remember is if we hang around the hero characters, I don’t know if we’re gonna die because not a lot of, not a lot of people actually die in Jurassic Park.

James: So there’s not a lot of people there but people involved with the hero characters do die.

Shaun: So we’re assuming we don’t know the hero characters though. We’ve got no loyalty or anything to them?

Ryan: We owe them nothing.

James: We’re just a bunch of guys, we’re reporting for FinalBoss on the weekend

Shaun: Oh yeah, John Hammonds gonna fully fund the website for the next 10 years

Ryan: Watch out for that dedicated Jurassic Park page boys

James: A very, very similar lifestyle to the one we lead now. Like I said, the kids are being ridiculous, screaming with a flashlight and everything. And then you see the other two there. They’re going to, they’re trying to help, right?

Shaun: Yeah they get the flares, don’t they?

Ryan: Yes. They’re already helping so it’s like, I’m not gonna get in their way.

James: No, absolutely not. Like this is their, this is their fight, right? The kids have been stupid. They’re not my kids. Alright. So I don’t think I’m gonna stay in the car. I think immediately, as soon as, especially when the T-Rex is going the other way after the flares. I think I’m going the opposite direction, you know?

Ryan: So we need to figure out where we’re heading then. Which way are we running? Are we docks, are we helipad? Are we going to the visitor centre because those are the only three places that makes sense?

James: Okay, so the thing is, what we’re going to be doing initially, right is the opposite direction to the T Rex. Okay, so whatever direction that is, that is where we’re going. So where does that begin? We’ve got this fabled map, the one that was definitely in the car at the time. Where, if, if you by any chance have that map in front of you, right?

Ryan: Well, I do I actually found it near the night vision goggles first

James: So so lucky. So did we take the night vision goggles, I feel like Shaun might have the level head to take the night vision goggles, I definitely wouldn’t.

Ryan: Shaun is wearing the night vision goggles.

James: That’s really quite important, right. But what we know about the track that we’ve been down is that most of the time when you’re going down the track through dangerous dinosaur areas, there, it’s um, it is fenced, right. So if you follow the track, are you safer? Do we think it will be safer if we stay to the path rather than go off in the woods?

Shaun: What’s our level of dinosaur knowledge? Is most of your current dinosaur knowledge based on the Jurassic Park films?

Ryan: Well that’s kind of the world that we’re in at the moment. We can’t stray too far into reality.

Shaun: But would you know what dinosaurs are dangerous and which ones aren’t?

James: The ones with the big teeth? Yeah, I would, I would basically, I think I’d know what a predatory dinosaur looks like because they all look quite similar in terms of like they had the T-Rex sort of shape or the raptor shape, but it was in

Shaun: Yeah something like T-Rex everyone would know but, I don’t feel like velociraptor was like a really well-known dinosaur before Jurassic Park.

James: It wasn’t but I feel like you would identify it as a predator.

Shaun: Yeah, I suppose you’d know, from you saw it earlier having its lunch.

James: Yes, exactly. And there’s things like I think we’d know about things like the Brachiosaurus and the Triceratops and everything. I think you’d know that. Yeah, these are. So yeah, I think, you’d think, you’d know which ones are deadly and which ones aren’t. But the problem we have is how do we avoid the deadly ones because you kind of make the assumption that they’re in their cages, but then the T-Rex just escapes so if we’re wandering around alone on Isla Nublar do we assume that the other ones are in their cages? Or are we thinking that they’ve all escaped?

Ryan: Well, the T-Rex

Shaun: I think we know the power’s out,, don’t we?

Ryan: Yeah. Yeah, the power’s definitely out. And I think the T-Rex is one of the, one of the biggest ones who would make sense that that could kind of bash through its perimeter. But, I mean, we’ve seen some of the other dinosaurs. They’re not all that grandiose. So to kind of do, you know, pull on through. So I’d like to think we’d have some sense to know that, you know, it’s a 50-50.

James: But see, the thing I was thinking about right is, as far as I know, the only dinosaurs they have are on land, right? So if we could find our way to the water, we could navigate around the island by the coast, right? And stay away from all the dangerous dinosaurs.

Ryan: How do you feel about that solar Shaun?

Shaun: I think if we’re going for the docks then it makes sense to stick to the water if we can because there’s like streams and rivers and stuff it looks like.

James:But then you have the issue of when they came to the island it was an intense ride into the centre right because of all the cliff edges on the side, like it, would it even be  possible to get to the edge, like get to the coast or is it just sheer cliffs? Is it like being in a bit of a crater?

Ryan: Well, it’s an island, isn’t it? So there isn’t a beach as far as I’m aware on the Isle of noob. So you have to presume the entire surrounding edge is a cliff face.

James: So do we reckon the coast is a no go just because we can’t make it to the coast?

Ryan: I think we could make it to the coast but I don’t think all three of us would make it to the coast. You’ve seen how bad that weather was. One of us, James, is getting dropped into that water like no tomorrow.

James: You’ve also got to think about like the jungle nature of it. Because they have some like, if they had plants from the Jurassic era, they had plants didn’t they?

Shaun: Yeah there’s poisonous plants now

James: Exactly like how dangerous is it going to be in the forest?

Ryan: So we think the safest route is one of their paths is that what we’re thinking?

James: I’m thinking that’s probably the safest route right?

Shaun: That gives a clear direction I guess rather than running through a massive open paddock

James: But with that in mind and our fabled map, yeah, if you, if we’re moving away from the T-Rex paddock, are we going near any other quite dangerous areas?

Ryan: Well, what we have to remember from film knowledge of this, this area is that although the power is out like Shaun said, even the hero characters cut through a paddock. So if we choose not to follow a path, we will have to go through a paddock so we need to pick a direction and kind of figure out the best way to get to where we’re trying to get to.

James: Okay, so from your map that you have Ryan can you tell? Which way if we’re running away from the T Rex, right? Can you tell which way we’re going? So I believe if you remember, if I remember correctly from the movie, we’re heading back to the, we’re heading back to the centre place whatever you call it, the like the headquarters wherever it is. Yeah?

Ryan: We would be going north back towards the Triceratops if we’re winding away from that T-Rex because that’s the direction, no wait no, they came from that way, no we’re going the other way around, you’re heading towards the docks then.

James: Because the car is heading towards, the car was heading towards the return whatever it is, the headquarter place. And then so the T-Rex is running in the opposite direction to that so we’re heading to, be actually, so we’re heading towards the centre right?

Ryan: Now, the ironic thing is looking at this map which is based on the brochure that’s widely available in the island, if anyone wants to visit…

James: I wouldn’t recommend it.

Ryan: No, it’s not a fun place. But um, according to this brochure, we would be heading toward, more towards the dock area. But according to the little, the tour road, which is detailed on our brochure map we are, we’re actually going the longer route back for some unknown reason.

James: Right. So here’s a, here’s an important question for you though, right? Are we actually heading to the dock? Why if we don’t know what’s going on, and the power is going out of the T rex escape, why is our first instinct to go to the dock? Why isn’t it to head back to the place that we know the security the place we started, right? Why isn’t that what we’re doing?

Ryan: I think the Visitor Centre is probably where we would want to head.

James: Okay, so I think that’s what we do and I genuinely think given what we know about the park and just following the road right the T-Rex?. Okay, what happens, what happens to the T Rex? Because then the T-Rex eventually runs in our direction, right? Because that’s the way they drive at one point.

Shaun: Yeah, the T-Rex ends up in the Gallimimus paddock, which is kind of next door to his. So I guess he just has free rein in the centre of the island.

Ryan: Okay, yeah, that makes sense because okay, yeah. So he’s now heading towards the, he’s actually heading towards the visitor centre

Shaun: He ends up there at the end doesn’t he?

James: Exactly this is my, this is what I’m gonna say. So I think logically because we don’t know what’s gonna happen at this point, right? We just know that we, the T-Rex has escaped. We assume the kids are probably dead at this point. And we’re just trying to escape and where’s the first place we’re gonna go is, we’re gonna go to the visitor centre because that’s what we know. Right

Ryan: So hang on, just so, so it looks like we’re probably gonna go to the visitor centre but we’re all aware of, you know, these dangerous dinosaurs. T-Rex being like a big, big bad one. But how much, how much weariness do we have of the raptors because the raptors are right next to the visitor centre.

James: At the moment we don’t know about it, do we right? We don’t know about the raptors escaping because they did talk about how the raptors couldn’t get out right?

Ryan: They talked about how high they could jump and how smart they were attacking the fences systematically. So if the islands power and stuff is down, surely we would think they would be getting out?

James: Oh that is a fair point. Okay.

Shaun: I mean, the raptors are in that like separate, smaller enclosure, aren’t they which is on its own power. Not that we would know that.

James: Do we not know that?

Ryan: I wouldn’t say we would know that.

James: Well, I honestly, I can’t remember what they were told. So were they not, so they weren’t told that? How do we know that from the film, is that just something thats said in the operations room?

Shaun: He says something like, surely Nedry wouldn’t have turned off like the Raptor pen or something like that?

Ryan: Yeah. And he said no, the raptors are still, he’s, he left though those fences up because obviously he’s not going towards the raptors, he’s going towards the dock which is in the other direction. So it’s kind of like a null area.

James: Okay, so this all leads back to this. Do we know how deadly the raptors are by the facts? Obviously, they go in, they see the raptors in the morning before they go off right?

Ryan: We watched it eat, what was it a bull or a cow?

James: Were we invited to that do you think?

Shaun: I think we’re there, if the kids went I’m sure we could go.

Ryan: If the kids went FinalBoss is along for the ride boys.

James: Then I think you’re right. I think that we’re like, we’re looking at this map, the fabled map. And we’re like the raptors are next to there, they’ve, the power’s out so they can escape because that guy was very specific about how like these are dangerous raptors and they’re trying to figure out ways out right? I think we’re going to realise, no, nobody’s going to go anywhere near that. Yeah.

Ryan: Okay, so what then the helipad?

James: Yeah, I think so. What’s up? So if you’re looking at the map, I don’t, I don’t have the map with me. I lost mine.

Ryan: You lost your brochure, you should have picked one up from the visitor centre, Shaun‘s got a backpack full of them.

James: No, I brought it home, but I lost it in the move. So what’s the closest one? Right because I think the next thing we’re going to be doing is, like we just want to go somewhere that is like civilized, that has like some civilization, like that has someone who can maybe help us or somewhere we can maybe hide. So what’s closer is it the dock or is it the helipad?

Ryan: Well, the dock is gonna be storm central. So I’m wanting to say we don’t want to go near the dock.

James: But at the moment, are we worried about a bit of rain are we worried about getting eaten by dinosaurs?

Ryan: I’m worried about turning up at the dock, seeing there’s no boat there and then getting killed by a wave.

James: We don’t know there’s no boat there

Ryan: But we know that there is waves there.

Shaun: It’s kind of 50-50 though because we don’t know that there’s going to be a helicopter.

Ryan: And we don’t know there’s going to be a boat. Yeah, exactly. That’s a very good point.

James: But we’re assuming right, I would assume right.

Shaun: Only thing is because we’ve come from the helipad I guess we kind of know where it is?

James: But, but I would, I would then think in the middle of a horrible horrible storm I wouldn’t you know, I’m thinking there’s no way the helicopters flying in the storm. Whereas a boat could moor offshore or like you’re not flying away in a helicopter in a serious storm. So I would me being like, me being there. I’d be talking to you guys. But there’s no point to go to helicopter. It’s not flying. But we can go to the boat. Right so I’d probably be pushing for a boat right now.

Ryan: Is there any, so we came in on the helicopter when we came in on the third helicopter? And do we remember anything on the helipad because we’ve been here before was there, was, is there a little shelter room or an office?

Shaun: I don’t think there is, literally like you walk off the helicopter into the waiting jeep.

Ryan: Oh, yeah. Ah, there we go. So there’s a waiting jeep at the helipad. With a man driving. So yeah, we have a man waiting for us

Shaun: So he’s not just sitting there all day I don’t expect waiting for a helicopter to come in.

Ryan: We don’t know that.

James: I reckon. So he drives you to the visitor centre right? So we were aware that if we go to the helipad, the helipads just a helipad. We’re going to stand on the helipad and be like dinosaur chump, right? This is where my dinobait name comes in. But it doesn’t really. It doesn’t really work as a strategy. Like it’s, like going to, there’s something really bad’s gonna happen and let’s go stay in the middle of a football field. You know?

Ryan: Maybe, maybe we’re, maybe we are approaching this from the wrong angle. So we are aware there’s a storm coming in because it went across the radio. We’re aware that the paddocks are open, chaos is kind of roaming. We’re not sure there’s definitely not a helicopter flying. There may or may not be a boat. The visitor centre is infested with raptors so the storm will pass. Why don’t we hunker down somewhere?

Shaun: Just wait it out

Ryan: They were very safe in that tree when the, when the T-Rex knocked that car off the side like they could have happily…

Shaun: Do you think you could get up a really high tree?

Ryan: I’d just jump from the paddock you know jump, jump, just do what they did.

James: Okay, but if there’s a, you’ve seen a T-Rex roaming around, it’s absolutely massive creature and you also know that there’s other creatures that may have escaped, right? Are you gonna want to sit in and chance it, right be like, okay, we could sit here we might be fine. Or we might get found by dinosaur, we’ve got no weapons. We’ve got nothing here. If they come at us with we’re screwed,

Ryan: I suppose we’ve also got to think about how important we are so, I know we’re FinalBoss, he’s gonna fund the website. Blah, blah blah all that to one side. We are the third group of people. We are probably the least important people on the island and…

Shaun: He might prioritise his grandkids, you mean

Ryan: Yes, exactly. So Hammond wants his grandkids. So do we find his grandkids and get some plot armour?

James: I would assume right, meet like I would have assumed watching what’s going on the kids screwing around. Them using flares. Yeah, I’m assuming we’ve pegged it right. We’ve taken the night vision goggles, we’ve taken the map and we’ve got out of it, right. I’m assuming they’re dead. So I’ve, I’ve made the assumption that obviously like Hammond doesn’t know they’re dead and the people back at the base don’t know they’re dead. But I, I’m assuming that they’ve been eaten. And I think that’s a fairly reasonable thing to think based on what we’ve seen, so I wouldn’t be like, let’s go get the kids because they’re going to be coming after the kids, I’m gonna be thinking like, they’re not gonna be coming after the kids. You might assume that they’re coming to the T-Rex paddock to try and find them. But are you gonna want to hang about and find out if that’s the case given how big and scary that friggin dinosaur is?

Ryan: What do you think Shaun? Do you think we should turn back or go our own way?

James: We’re going to the docks there’s no, there’s no two ways about it right that is the only option because we, we want to get out, with like, we want to get away from all this,s we know that we go to a helipad we’re definitely in the middle of nowhere. We know if we go to the visitor centre that there are potentially vicious, vicious raptors very close by.

Shaun: And there also is weapons

Ryan: There are weapons. We can send dinobait in there to figure out, you know what’s going on if he doesn’t come back…

Shaun: What about you Ryan? The tech wiz, you can get the park back online.

Ryan: I can but I need to wait for Samuel L. Jackson to get eaten.

James: The thing is we don’t know that they’ve got like pump-action shotguns there do we?

Ryan: We know they’ve got something

Shaun: I mean they’ve got like the hunter guy so he must have something, got to have a stash somewhere

James: Yeah, they do, we, but so then so then that’s, that question of right so we do have this path before us right we’ve got visitor centre which potentially infested with raptors potentially full of weapons yeah and we’re assuming right we’re, we’re assuming that because we don’t know that much about this raptors right so I’m assuming that we’re going to be like if we get some guns we can kill these things, we’re like no issue they get gun it’s like you know like shooting a chicken right? No problem but are we going to do that and risk it not knowing there’s guns or are we going to go for the docks and this is why I want to know which is actually closer right now if I’m on your map what’s closer

Ryan: If we’re, if we’ve, if we’ve run away from where the Triceratops was pooping, we are closer towards the dock probably but there isn’t a lot in it. Like maybe five minutes

James: Okay so on your map can you also see what we’re passing?

Ryan: It’s not dynamic mate I don’t know where we are

James: Right but can you see like what enclosures are around?

Ryan: Shaun do you want to take this one as scout leader

Shaun: As scout leader? So between the T-Rex and the, and the docks is only carnivores.

Ryan: well we do have dinobait, you can put up these flares and run like a madman

James: Okay so only carnivores. What about towards the visitor centre?

Ryan: There are some, there are some plant-eaters.

Shaun: More herbivore that way but then obviously the raptors are…

Ryan: So we can head towards the meat-eaters or go towards the vegans. So, which? How do we feel about this?

James: I honestly think so, be, given that option. I would say I’m going straight through vegan territory, right? Because I’ve seen a T-Rex in the flesh escape. I’m thinking, what else is out there? And if we know that there’s only carnivores in our direction, we don’t know if they’ve escaped or not. We’re assuming basically, I think we’re going to assume that everything’s got the opportunity to escape and kill us.  So I’m definitely thinking I’m going the vegan option.

Ryan: To be fair, that’s a very sound argument. And you’ve also got to consider that the carnivores as well might end up killing each other because there’s so many of them in a tightly dense area. Whereas if we go the vegan route, I mean, they’re just going to be chomping on trees and plants. So we’re, we’re fairly safe.

James: So we’re heading towards the visitor centre. Is that agreed? Okay, so we’re going to be, if we’re following the path, we’re following the path through veggie County. So the chances of us getting through there is actually pretty, pretty good, right? There’s no real… if we stick to the path, my imagining of this is we’re basically we’re following the road but we’re kind of staying in the tree line. So we can sort of dive away if something big turns off or something scary turns out but we also don’t want to go too far in the tree line. By using Shaun with his night-vision goggles, I like to scan around as…

Ryan: As scout leader with his night-vision goggles and his map, he will take us to safety.

James: Scout leader. So Shaun is gonna lead us to safety and I think, I think, I think we will make it like, if they if everyone else can make it back. Why can’t we? Yeah, exactly. just literally following the path through a paddock full of vegetarian dinosaurs just stay out their way so they don’t step on you and I think we should be alright. But then…

Shaun: If you see the T rex just stay still.

James:  Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Because that works in this but do we do we know that? Because I don’t think we do.

Ryan: I think we might know that because the middle car were screaming like “don’t move”. So I would have felt like we would have had heard that.

Shaun: Did we hear that? Are we too busy running away?

James: No way we heard that.

Ryan: I definitely heard that.

James: Nobody heard that

Shaun: 2020 hearing

Ryan: 2020 hearing. 2020 vision, it’s good. I heard it.

James: Okay, so, but anyway, we won’t come into contact with a T-Rex at that point because he goes off and starts chomping in the paddock anyway. So the chances of us actually seeing him, because I think he runs down that path a little bit when he chases the car when he goes off. So we’re already long gone by that point.

Ryan: Yeah. And I think with, with scout leader like, taking us towards the visitor centre, we’ve got,he’s got his night-vision goggles, he’s got his map, I’m fairly certain we’re probably going to beat car one and car two to the visitor centre.

James: Okay, so with that in mind, if we do get there at this point, we’re basically kind of set up there earlier than they are right?  So in this circumstance, we are going to be sort of just involved in the final, the final scene of the film, so does having us there, is that an advantage or is it a hindrance?

Ryan: Where is the weapons locker Shaun sorry, scout leader?

Shaun: I think it’s just like a separate building near the visitor centre.

Ryan: Isn’t it? Shed isn’t it or something?

Shaun: But yeah, because they go into that. I think it’s like a bunker.

James: We wouldn’t go straight to the weapons locker would we, we’d go in to the visitors centre, and then we would meet with Hammond and Samuel L. Jackson. And…

Ryan: And the other two would probably already be gone to find the children.

James: Exactly. So we would just be there. So I’m just trying to think does that give us anything extra to have three extra people there at that point? Or like, or is, or are we looking at basically an opportunity to get killed? Like maybe Samuel L. Jackson goes off? Like he does?

Ryan: Goes off like he does?

James: Like he does? Yeah, he gets absolutely mangled. And do we go do something, do we like send, Ryan with it being a techie?

Shaun: I was just going to say that, so Ellie has to go in and look for him, and she has that line about, like, sexism in survival situations. So does one of you step up and go look for Samuel L. Jackson?

James: Right? Yeah.

Ryan: I like to feel like James is more about equality than me so if there’s gonna be anyone it’s gonna be James.

James: Yeah I’d definitely agree with that, but I will yeah, I would say that the chance, but thing is she’s already, she goes after he’s gone missing right. But we would be, we would be there when he was still there and then he goes off. I reckon one of us, at least one of us would go with him and be killed. Right, I’m just saying it now like he’s gonna go off to the power he goes to the switch on the power right.

Ryan: He goes to reset the breakers or something.

James: So we’re going to be like, they’re gonna be like, don’t go alone. Someone go with him right? Yeah, honestly. One of us is going to go with him that’s just what’s going to happen? There’s gonna be no weapons. We’re not gonna be prepared for this then. So then the question is, with two of us are we going to be able to take on a raptor? Or are we both just gonna die?

Ryan: Well Wait, hang on. So I see you say one of us is gonna go with him. But at this point, the raptors are still in the paddock because it was him flipping the breakers off, which is what released their lock and basically let them out. So at the moment, we are completely safe until he does switch, which obviously we don’t know, that he’s obviously, we don’t know that if, I know no, we do know that if he flicks a switch that he’s going to do that the raptors are gonna go out because that, that’s established, that’s said, isn’t it? That will reset everything so the locks.

James: Exactly. Yeah. So we’ll, we will know that. Right. We’ll know that in the moment that he does it, but then he has to go and reset the breakers. And we’re not, we’re not gonna let him go alone. Right. We’re just, we’re just not those sort of people.

Ryan: Aren’t we loyal to no one?

James: Yeah, okay, fine. We did run away from the dying kids. Yeah,

Ryan: So why do we care about some techie?

James: They were done for. But at this point, we’re like, we’re the ones, we’re assuming like we’re all in this together because everyone else is dead. Right? And he’s like, okay, we’re gonna go set the breakers. I’m gonna say that we’re gonna go with him because, I’m not, I don’t think we’d let him go by himself.

Ryan: Okay, okay, let’s put this over as a team. Shaun, do we, do we go with them? Or do we maybe stay and fortify the area?

Shaun: Yeah, maybe we stay. It’s not like it’s a two-person job or anything? And like you say, if we haven’t got weapons at the time, there’s not really anything we can do to help him.

James: Well, I think just me being me, being who I am like this.

Ryan: Dinobait?

James: Chivalrous person I am. I know for a fact that he’s like, okay, I’m going off. I know I’m not gonna let him go alone. Right, so I’m fairly certain I’m gonna go and die now.

Shaun: You’re dead then.

James: Yeah, I don’t think I make it out alive. I just, Oh, yeah, I think in this situation. Yeah. And so we don’t have any weaponry and what happens is we go into this underground, to the underground place, right? And that’s where he’s gonna. That’s where the dino is gonna get us so I’m gonna be trapped in there. Am I? Do I have the plot armour of Ellie? Right? Probably not.

Ryan: Well, so. Okay, so when it, when Ellie finds his arm, what’s the hunter called Shaun?

Shaun: Muldoon.

Ryan: Okay, so, so Muldoon at that point is Muldoon still alive because doesn’t he say I can see a raptor there and then he makes her run?

Shaun: Yeah. So he goes with Ellie to start with and then he lets her go while he hunts the raptor.

James: I’ve already died, I’ve already died at this point.

Ryan: But we don’t know that you’re dead. Because there’s no, no we haven’t seen no, no mangled arm. We haven’t seen no proof of corpse, basically.

Shaun: So we’re going to send in Ellie to look for you.

Ryan: Yes. Ellie is coming to look for you.

James: Are you just? Again. Are you just sending, are you two just sending someone off by themselves again?

Shaun: She’s got Muldoon.

Ryan: Yeah, she’s has got Muldoon there are two people coming to look for you

Shaun: And he’s got a big gun, you just went with Samuel L Jackson and a walkie talkie

Ryan: You’ve got to think of how bad James is with tech, you probably left the batteries at home because he’s absolutely terrible with batteries.

James: No, I have batteries but they don’t have any charge in them

Ryan: Okay, so this is what I would think if that, if that is that’s what we’re doing if James is going with Samuel L and me and Shaun are staying with Hammond. I’m gonna, I’m gonna say okay, where are the weapons and I’m sure Hammond has a couple of handguns. You know, in that, in his office or something?

James: What, is he Tomb Raider?

Ryan: Well, I don’t think he’s gonna have rifles and shotguns in the visitor centre, but there must be some, there must be a security office. So there actually might be a shotgun in there. There won’t be any rifles but there might be a shotgun and a pistol.

James: Yeah, I reckon you’re right about having some sort of security.

Ryan: So me and Shaun are going to get the shotgun and the pistol. Shotgun the shotgun. Wait, so does that mean that then we let Ellie stay with Hammond and we go with? Was it Muldoon? And try and help James? Do we leave one of our own?

James: Yeah, I reckon, I reckon you come after me because I’ve disappeared.

Ryan: Do I care about James that much?

Shaun: Yeah, you do.

James: You love me really? I reckon you two are coming after me with your pistol and shotgun.

Shaun: Two people who know nothing about guns.

Ryan: Well, I wasn’t gonna say anything.

James: From his days hot-wiring cars

Ryan: Yeah, hot-wiring cars, just buckshot left and right, you know, it’s just…

James: Have you ever fired a gun?

Ryan: I’ve fired a rifle.

James: Okay.

Shaun: Does a Nerf gun count?

James: Probably not.

Ryan: Does paintball count?

James: No.

Ryan: Have you fired a rifle?

James: I’ve fired a shotgun

Ryan: Alright, so James. If James found a weapon, he could be a bullet sponge.

James: But there’s no weapons in the circuit breaker room I don’t think.

Ryan: Do we, do we know that? Wait, wait, there must be, maybe some kind of rescue box, maybe there’s a flare gun.

James: Okay, but I just don’t think, I think

Ryan: You’ve got one shot would you make it.

James: No, probably not. Too busy, too busy pooping my pants, I think because, especially I also know the fact that this dinosaurs super, super deadly and they’ve really told us how savage they are and then come face to face with it. I don’t think I’m holding that gun straight. And I don’t think I’m holding in the contents of my dinner. So I’m fairly certain that I have died with, with faeces in my shorts.

Ryan: I’ll be honest, I think even if three of us went to hunt, well to find James and then get like tried against a team of Raptors. I still think we’ll all die.

Shaun: Yeah, the hunter who knows what he’s doing dies doesn’t he so.

Ryan: Maybe, maybe he tells us to run because we haven’t used weapons before.

James: No, but he, but he doesn’t tell Ellie to run. So he, so you yeah, so Ellie, so you two, he’ll probably say, I’m going to do the hunt, right? And he’ll go off and he’ll die like he did before. Right? And you two will come in and you’ll find me.

Ryan: Cowering in the corner

James: No me and Samuel L. Jackson mangled into pieces.

Ryan: Okay, so James is dead, I’m behind this,

James: But I do think I’m out. I literally, I’ve died at that point. I accept that I have died at this point. I think if you’ve got a shotgun and a pistol, right, then I think you’re probably, I think you’re probably going to make it, like because at least one of you will because you’ll be able to kill the dinosaur

Ryan: So from recollection, so Ellie goes, she tries to get into the, the bit where his arm is, doesn’t she? And then, does she run inside that, am I, is that right?

Shaun: Yeah she goes and then she puts the power back on.

Ryan: Yeah. And then doesn’t she stay in there, does she come back out of there and then head towards the visitor centre?

Shaun: And then she comes back to the main visitor centre.

Ryan: Okay so if, so is Ellie there or are we going there with Ellie that’s the question?

Shaun: I don’t think they’d send three people would they?

James: No but I think you two together with guns, we’ve assumed, we’ve assumed that you found guns in the security like some sort of security lockers.

Ryan: We found them.

Shaun: Ramboed up

Ryan: Ramboed up

James: Ramboed up, yep got your bandolier on yeah, so I would say that means…

Shaun: Facepaint

James: Facepaint yep, belt of  grenades. I would say that yeah, you like, when you come face to face with the raptor in there to kill me because you got guns you’d literally just pop it.

Ryan: So we would kill the raptor so we killed one raptor. We flicked the power back on. We chill for a little bit and head back to the visitor centre you think Shaun after confirming James mangled corpse?

James: Take a selfie.

Ryan: Take a selfie hashtag bad day

James: But I do think, I do think, that if you’ve got weapons and you’ve gone back there it makes the final confrontation a lot easier, because you literally just kill them right?

Ryan: Well there’s one, there’s one, there’s one raptor that tries to kill Ellie, we’ve killed that one. The other two have killed the hunter.

Shaun: And now they’re going after the kids.

Ryan: And now they’re going after the kids, so where is Hammond in this?

Shaun: I assume he’s still in the bunker with Ian Malcolm.

Ryan: So do we head back to the bunker? Cos how do we know where the kids are?

James: Yeah you do. You head back, now you’ve turned the power on, you head back into the control room. So you can continue to set the parks security systems back up, right?

Ryan: Yeah, so I think, I think that’s it, because the kids, and all that little sceney thing, that’s gonna play out the same kind of way. They got out didn’t they?

James: Yeah.

Shaun: So the kids get everything back online in the film.

James: Yeah so I think you would meet the kids, so you would go back to the control room, no one would be there but then you would, then meet the kids right and they would sort everything out but the raptors attack but because you’ve already got guns when the raptors attack the building you’d just kill them.

Ryan: Ok, ok I like this but…

Shaun: That would then leave us a T-Rex to deal with.

Ryan: Yeah, but, but hang on, so just before we’re killing the raptors.

James: Straight through the eye

Ryan: So Shaun said the kids get everything back online, so okay, so wheres the, Im probably just forgetting it but wheres the two dots between the kids knowing what to do to get things back online, do they see Hammond, are they aware of what they’re supposed to do?

Shaun: No, the girl is just a tech geek ain’t she, she just starts playing with like the interface, pressing things.

Ryan: And she gets it online, ok wait, so it’s by chance then, they weren’t on an objective, mission kind of thing?

James: No.

Shaun: At first she was just trying to lock the doors to keep the raptor out.

James: She wouldn’t even need to lock the doors cos you could just pop it right? You’ve literally got a shotgun and, and a pistol.

Ryan: But how do we, how do we find the children? That’s what, where’s that going

James: Because, because the children end up in the control room, that’s what, their natural progression is through the story.

Ryan: And then do they get chased by raptors?

James: Yeah.

Shaun: So they get chased by the two, with Ellie and Alan

James: But you’ve gone back to the control room anyway because that’s the basepoint. That’s where you’re going to go back to after you’ve set the power on because that’s the whole point,t you set the power on so you go back to the computers so then you’re gonna meet there, the raptors are gonna chase them there but because you’ve got weapons you’ll kill them right? Not the kids, the raptors.

Ryan: Ok then, so ok then, we kill the raptors, are we assuming there’s no casualties?

James: Yeah there shouldn’t be

Ryan: So there’s no casualties, so you made the comment about the T-Rex, so I, I put to you that because there’s no kind of conundrum, kerfuffle, maybe the T-Rex doesn’t end up there at all.

Shaun: Doesnt here us.

Ryan: Yeah.

Shaun: So we just stroll out the front door into John Hammonds waiting jeep.

Ryan: Yeah exactly, go to the helicopter, the helipad

Shaun: Go the helicopter and we’re on our way

James: Yeah because at this point the storms passed hasn’t it?

Ryan: Yes.

Shaun: Yes.

James: So then you’re able to escape through, via the helicopter. So yeah, I think you lads have survived.

Shaun: We did it Ryan!

Ryan: We did it, yeah.

James: Literally you called me dinobait before we came in but I was literally dinobait

Shaun: Made the sacrifice


I did, literally because I’m too nice to let him go by himself but I know I would be, I know if he’s like I’m going I’d be like you can’t go by yourself I’m going with you. Like, I literally know that would happen.

Ryan: So just for some context on dinobait. So the way that we do these podcasts is we, I invite these two into like a chatroom and I can give them a name and they can’t change it so Shaun’s got scout Shaun and I invited James in as dinobait so I think I saw this coming.

James: Its a miracle really.

Ryan: I mean it is, it is. So the survivors, let’s count ‘em down, there’s Ryan, there’s Shaun, there’s Hammond, there’s the children.

Shaun: And the three experts.

Ryan: And the three scientists. How are we all gonna fit in one helicopter?

Shaun:Maybe cos we we’re there he ordered two.

Ryan: Ah yes, no, no cos we came in on that second helicopter didn’t we?

James: Or an extra-large helicopter.

Ryan: A chinook

James: A chinook, bought a chinook in. Yeah, anyway well-done guys.

Ryan: Yeah we survived so I would say, I would say this is how to survive Jurassic Park

James: Yeah don’t be me.

Ryan: Don’t be James.

James: Don’t be nice, just let him go alone.

Ryan: Don’t be nice, don’t be chivalrous, there’s no chivalry among dinosaurs.

James: Certainly isn’t.

Ryan: And I think that’s a wrap, thank you all for listening and catch us all in the next one.

Previous episodes of BossCast have covered The Mandalorian, The Last Of Us, Jaws, The Lord of the Rings and Halo Infinite. You can find all the details and listen via our dedicated podcast pageFinalBoss will be back with another podcast very soon. If you enjoy the show, please subscribe wherever you listen to your podcasts, so you won’t miss our next episode! Ideas for the show or questions for the team? Let us know!

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Ryan Lipton
Ryan Lipton
Ryan is your local game aficionado. A master button basher with years of dedicated gaming under his belt, he’ll constantly be keeping you up to date with all the latest releases.

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